The Ten Commandments of a Healthy Support Group
Mardy Freeman
Running a support group can be tough. Every group has its own set of challenges, but some problems can be avoided if a healthy foundation has been laid. If you find your group is spending more time and energy debating issues or looking for volunteers than executing worthy projects, these "commandments" might offer some help.
1. Know your purpose. Is your intent to provide fellowship with children of like-minded families, or do you want to emphasize diversity? Typically, all-inclusive groups encounter sensitive issues that tend to take up more Board time and energy than exclusive groups (i.e.: those with statement of faith requirements), simply because the base is so diverse. Be prepared for differing opinions when mixing differing beliefs and values. Is your focus on group studies or park days for children, parent workshops or encouragement to moms, networking with other groups on homeschool issues or great field trips and resources? Most groups are a mixture of many of these, but being able to say, "When all else fails, this is who we are!" can be a powerful guide if you find your group stretching on issues down the road.
2. Define roles and duties. Typically, a president calls for meetings, plans agendas and oversees leaders' duties, a secretary records meeting minutes and handles correspondence, a treasurer handles monies, and the three of you get to vote on everything else! If your group grows, you can add more Board positions, such as a Vice-President, New Member Liaison, Legislative Contact, Activities Coordinator or others to share duties and provide that necessary uneven vote. Standard nonprofit group structure guidebooks, complete with excellent advice for leaders, can be found in most public libraries. If you're unsure of what to delegate or what you should handle yourself, check out one of these guides, and discuss it with your Board. Leaders who do not understand their duties either neglect important tasks, or step on each other's toes.
3. Agree on membership requirements. Do members pay dues? Are current dues enough to cover your purpose, and some of the items on your group's "wish-list?" Must members be current homeschoolers, FPEA members, in compliance with Florida home school law, or sign a statement of faith or a statement of behavior guidelines? What levels of participation do you require? Providing a place for minimally-active families, so the new mom can catch her breath or the dedicated church or community leader can slow down but still have a part in the group encourages later participation, while funding your treasury today.
4. Be professional. Make sure your financial records are clean and clear from the beginning. If you know a CPA, find out what it would cost to get him to take a look at your books once a year. Having a homeschooling-friendly lawyer and CPA in advisory positions is also good idea.
5. Stay connected with other homeschoolers. Sticky questions like, "Should we incorporate?" or "Do we need insurance?" are often addressed during the FPEA Leaders' Forum, and veteran groups are usually willing to share their advice, copies of policies and procedures or bylaws, and most importantly -- their mistakes! You don't have to reinvent the wheel! Setting up email contacts with FPEA, HEF, HSLDA or other credible organizations keeps you up-to-date on changes in the law, as well as state and national issues. And working with the leadership of other local support groups, even if you differ greatly in philosophy and purpose, provides healthy communication lines for events in which all the parents can benefit, such as used book sales or special speakers.
6. Let leadership arise. If you're having trouble finding volunteers to keep activities afloat, don't hesitate asking members what they would like. Activities with no leaders or minimal participation sometimes need to die, so that ones that will better meet member needs can arise. Asking can be in the form of an annual survey to everyone (complete with a spot for "sign-up"), or individually. Sometimes a personal phone call to someone whom you think would do an excellent job is the nudge that a member needs -- especially from the president or chair.
7. Expect growth. It is inevitable: If homeschooling continues to grow, so will our support groups. Many groups are already feeling the pangs of rapid growth and the shift in dynamics it brings. Being prepared for those changes may mean creating a "group membership cap" or simply dividing into "subgroups." Subgroups tend to satisfy a large and diverse membership, while keeping the large group united, since each one can feature a different focus that can change from one year to the next (elementary age, weekly field trips or classes, middle or high schoolers, outlying areas, or particular studies such as American-, Civil War- or Florida-history, etc.).
8. Accept change and be flexible. Changes in leadership, members, dynamics, numbers, activities, needs -- these are all expected changes in every group. Which ones to accept, and which ones to resist? If a proposed change can benefit those whom it will effect, while not damaging the rest, it is a win/win. If you find that your group is facing so many changes that you think your purpose might be changing (Commandment 1), discuss it with your Board -- sometimes growth forces change in purpose, because of new potential. However, an attitude of, "We've never done it that way before," or "Why should we?" tends to douse flickering interest in potential leaders.
9. Protect and appreciate your leaders. Protecting from bureaucracy (too many expectations from above) and burnout (too many expectations from below), and providing times of fellowship and encouragement cultivates long-term leaders, and tends to make leadership more attractive. Timely appreciation dinners or fun retreats and leaders-only perks, along with healthy thank-yous throughout the year can be that special boost that keeps some giving.
10. Know your limitations. As a group and as a leader. If your group is suffering because assigned duties lie unfulfilled, resist the temptation to take over. Instead, try to resolve it with the one who is responsible. If your home life is suffering because of your leadership role, that can be a strong signal that it may be time to step aside. Sometimes others must fulfill what a leader envisions. To be more concerned with the health of your support group than the health of your home promotes disorder and invites distress into both arenas. And understanding that decision-making (and mistake-making) is the inherent right of the elected Board, prevents founders and long-term past-leaders from "arm-chair rule." A wise past-leader can help to create the needed position of experience and asked-for counsel.
Running a support group can be very rewarding, especially if you've taken the time to do it right!